I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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