She went from zero to smokin in five shots
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
