So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
