The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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