Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Randomize
