Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
