As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
this is an emotional support booty call
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
