Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I understand Curling. That high.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
