It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
