i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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