you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
