so that wasnt chicken after all
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I have post one night stand depression
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