I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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