i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I party with great urgency now.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
