Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
