...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it glows. i had to have it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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