I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
