You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
