I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We have started to decorate penises.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
