I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
