try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
