Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i will never coherently bang her
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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