the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You ate ashes out of my bong
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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