how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
