I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
