yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
