I would go down on you faster than GM stock
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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