somebody snuck up and got me drunk
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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