dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
