how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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