A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Randomize
