I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
