At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
