He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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