Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
