Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
