Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
