You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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