Plan B is the new Plan A
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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