I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
