well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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