were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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