girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
