I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
