Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
