once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
