my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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