the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
