So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
