That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
