after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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